Thursday, October 21, 2010

Lack of Child Support

In one of my earlier blogs I mentioned the word “child support” with a disclaimer that I’ll talk about that in another blog.  Well here it is.  This is my take on my situation with the lack of child support.
I went to a bible study a few weeks ago and we watched a short video clip called Kickball.  You’ve gotta watch it.  I even put the link up for ya.  Check it out.  Anyway, it’s about a little boy who really wants this ball and his parents don’t get it for him.  He really, really wants it and the poor little guy puts up a big tantrum and is just truly sad.  You know the sadness in the child when they put that big frown on their face and their heart is just low in their belly because they think they really need that ball.  What he didn’t know was that the ball he wanted was actually meant to be tethered to his wrist and was a safety hazard for a kid of his age.  What he also didn’t know was that his parents were already taking him to get a kickball, something they knew he would love and would enjoy for a long time. 

The moral of the story was that sometimes we think we know what we need, but we usually don’t realize that God might already have something bigger and better planned for us. 

When the judge first ordered X to pay child support, I was really happy.  A budget for two young kids in daycare (and one in diapers) is really a lot of stress for a single mom.  I was looking forward to getting some relief.  When X refused to pay and instead spent his money on dining out and expensive gifts for himself, I spent the next couple of months really angry.  I believed our kids had a right to that money, deserved that money!  I was so focused on that child support that I did nothing but stress over it.

After those two months, I turned to God instead.  I began to let go of the issue and instead focused really hard on how to deal with the situation.  I did an excellent job at sticking to a really strict budget, found a great opportunity to save on groceries by turning to Angel Food Minstries, and eliminated any excess expenditures like cable and internet. 

I prayed and had full faith in God that as long as I did my part, He would provide.  And He did.  My brother sent me money to help with daycare and diapers.  I utilized thrift stores for things like cooking utensils and other household items.  I even conserved apple juice by only giving the kids water topped with a little juice (which, by the way, got me extra points at the pediatrician office for giving my kids healthier beverages).  When we ran out of oatmeal, I made rice porridge. 

And here’s where it gets so much sweeter.  My friend, John, long-distance ordered a pizza for the kids and me on evening.  For Thanksgiving, a wonderful friend of mine surprised us with a turkey.  And Christmas?  A wonderful support group put my kids’ names on the list for the Angel Tree and even put money together to give me gift cards so that I could have some “me” stuff. 

The kickball:  Family.  I never got my child support.  Even until now.  But God gave me a family of people who supported and encouraged me.  God told me, “Don’t worry about him and the child support.  I have you.  I’ll take care of you.  You do your part.  Let me do mine.”  And like a father provides for his children, God gave me something even greater than money.  He gave me a family.  And I thank Him so much for this.  It is the sweetest type of child support a mother could receive.

So that’s my take on not receiving child support.  I could be bitter.  I could spend my life angry about not getting what’s due to me and my children.  I could call X names, harass him, and spend my life hating him.  Or… I could just keep my faith in God and trust that He has my back.  I think the latter not only requires so little but gives so much more than I can even imagine.

So, if you’re not getting child support and you’re struggling and literally making lemonade out of lemons because you’re out of apple juice, put your faith in God.  He knows everything we’re going through, every hurt in our hearts, and every thought in our head.  Let him hold you and tell you, “Don’t you worry.  Dad’s got you.  And let Him provide.

What a wonderful way for me to end the night—writing about this makes me smile.  Ah, what a good feeling it is to know that God’s got my back.

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