Fathers Have Power

6 Nov 2010

Men have an extraordinary power when they are fathers of sons.  There is just something about a father that mothers simply cannot provide.  We moms can definitely run a household on our own.  We can provide love, food, shelter, and health.  We can protect our home, our little ones, and our hearts.  We can make castles out of couch cushions with our kids.  But we can’t teach them how to be men the way a man can.

I was talking with a friend of mine about this last night.  In our discussion, he disclosed that it had been two years since he has heard from his father.  His dad just faded away on a train of pride and shame and left behind two sons.  “I still find myself wondering if he would be proud of my accomplishments,” he told me.  “I sometimes catch myself needing his approval.  I know I’m a good man and I know I’m a good father.  But I still feel like I’ll always have a void that won’t go away until he tells me he’s proud of me.”

When my 3 year old, Caden, started a new daycare which had a male teacher, I realized how much he was looking for a father figure.  He saw other kids’ dads drop them off at class and pick them up every day.  His teacher told me that Caden follows him around everywhere.  When Caden sees a man, he describes them as “a daddy.”  I know that in his little mind, he’s wondering “Where’s my daddy?”

One day, Caden was watching my brother as he played with Sean.  Sean’s big squeals of laughter filled the room.  Caden continued to observe as Paul tickled and cuddled Sean.  Finally, he said, “That’s my daddy.”  And my heart sank.

Fathers are usually the first men in their sons’ lives.  They have so much influence over them from the time they are babies until they are grown men and long after their fathers are gone.  That influence can be used for good or evil.  Fathers can be the mentors that make their sons wonderful men. 

I’d like to think I’m Wonder Woman and I can do it all.  I’d like to be all my kids need.  But I can never be a father.  All I can do as a mom is make sure that the men in our lives, whether they are friends, family or even a potential step-father, are great men that can be great father figures. 

So to all the men out there, be the man you want your sons to look up to and be.  You have such an amazing gift, an incredible power.  And the pitter patter of baby feet will always follow you.