Monday, February 22, 2010

Can't We Go Back Home?

I have many days when I feel like I need some “me” time.  I want the kids to stay at a friend’s house, I want to be in the house by myself, I want to be able to do grocery shopping alone, or I just want to sleep!  Each waking minute that I’m not at work is spent wiping spills, changing a diaper, picking up toys, kissing boo-boo’s, vacuuming the carpet, budgeting, chopping onions, and so much more.  It gets exhausting.  And one can understand why the single mom wants some “me” time.

But today is different.  I dropped my youngest son off in his daycare room and watched as he grinned and quickly hunted down his teacher.  She grinned and scooped him up, returning his outstretched “hug me” arms.  Every day before today, he cried if I even bent down to put him on the floor so I could sign him in.  Not today.  He didn’t even glance over his shoulder to see if I was still there.

I held Caden’s hand as we walked down the long hall to his “big boy” class room.  As we walked, he pointed out the fish tank and said his goodbyes.  This is the second week he hasn’t been screaming to get back into the car.  I smiled down at him and said, “Do you want to do the choo-choo train?”  He grinned up at me and said, “Yeah!”  and immediately started taking quick, short, choppy steps.  “All aboard!!”  We started our train regime and laughed ourselves to the classroom.

As he passed the threshold, his mouth formed a small frown and he stretched his arms out in front of me for a hug.  I scooped him up and said, “I love you,” as I carried him to his teacher. 

Mrs. Paula smiled and said, “Good morning Caden, go put up your jacket and bag please.”  This was always the hard part.  He always cried when it was time to go.  But not today.  He was still quite sad.  I saw his eyes tear up.  But he didn’t whine.  Instead he walked away and started undoing his jacket.  I took that as the perfect opportunity to say goodbye and head out. 

As I walked down the hall, I glanced through the glass window at him and watched as he hung his jacket up in his cubby.  My heart hung heavily in my chest.

Today is the day I want to call in sick and take the boys back home for a big breakfast and have some family time.  I guess I’m just a little sad about being at work instead.

I think I’m going to have a dedicated “us” time on Friday nights. 


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