Friday, November 4, 2011

You Can Make it Turn

We moved to Colorado in the middle of August. We drove for about 23 hours and when we arrived I thought it was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. But I was too nervous about the new job, new home and being away from Patrick to allow myself to fall in love with the place.

The kids started daycare almost immediately after the first weekend. The first day I brought Caden and Sean to their daycare classes, an indoor potted plant with a cardboard pinwheel sticking out of its soil greeted us. It was huge, brightly colored and boy did it just call Caden's name. He went straight for it and started blowing.

"Caden, it's too big to spin when you blow it. It's not a toy pinwheel. It's just a decoration." I was too much in a hurry to meet their teachers that watching him blow at this thing over and over was making my head hurt.

Finally he stopped and grinned at me. "Well," he answered, "I can make it turn." With his little index finger he lightly pushed at the yellow cardboard wing and watched as the whole pinwheel slowly turned clockwise. With wide eyes he squealed in laughter and pushed it again, this time a little harder.

Sean, who was busy looking through the glass doors as this was taking place, whirled around at the sound of Caden's laughter. Instantly, he laughed and jumped up and down, squealing, "It's turning!"

I couldn't help but smile at them right then. Alone in my car while they were settled into their classrooms, I marveled at the simplicity of Caden's answer. I can make it turn. There I was, in this gorgeous state, spending so much energy being nervous and feeling heartsick that I didn't even think that maybe all I had to do was make things turn. Change is never really easy. And of course I was going to miss Patrick. He's three states away! But it didn't mean I was stuck with a decorative pinwheel. I could make this a beautiful adventure. I wanted this pinwheel in the first place and now that I have it, dang it I'm gonna make it turn.

Now, almost 3 months have gone by and not once have I hated being here. Sure there are days when I get lonely. There are times when I hate the parking lot in my apartment complex. And twice I almost slipped on a sheet of ice. But I don't forget to make an effort to enjoy this assignment. It doesn't mean I will love it every day. It means that I'm going to be excited about life, whether it's snuggling up with my kids in front of the fire place or simply reading a book. My life is not a decorative pinwheel. It can turn and be a glorious whirl of colors. If I just choose to make it turn.


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